Towards the end of June I totally felt the buzz starting up for Camp NaNoWriMo’s July session. I knew this time around I would be active. I had already set a plan for specific posts I wanted to do here on the blog, how I was going to balance working on the Untitled Horror Project, and Vini’s Story. The latter of course being my camp project, with the idea to start a brand new outline. I set a very low goal of 2,000 words as I didn’t want my camp stuff to overshadow other writing that needed to take precedence. I still had a plan to be a lot more active than I was this time around. So much so that I purposely sought out to join or start a cabin with specifically active participants.
I hit up the forums on the NaNoWriMo site and was soon invited to be a part of a couple of groups. I picked the first to respond and was soon finding myself a member of a cabin with truly active writers. Already the conversation was in full swing and it wasn’t even July 01st yet! I was impressed and oddly felt shy over joining in. I was a little busy at the time though, since I was in those last days of June trying hard to finish putting my CafePress shop together. I said my hellos though, thanked them for inviting me, and admitted I had been busy behind the scenes but should be in full swing soon! Well… that soon never really came. It wasn’t until a few days or so into the month that the shop was set up, but other things came along that were rather distracting and couldn’t be ignored.
Thus I feel like I was tossed into a roller-coaster month with highs and lows. I felt exhaustion most days. It was hard to concentrate on writing. It was hard to do much of anything on a day off. Needless to say I fell behind on the Untitled Horror Project plan. I did successfully start the brand new outline for Vini’s Story. Admittedly, I’m actually surprised I hit my 2,000 word count goal on day one for the outline. I think mostly because I was working on an outline and not a draft. I debated briefly on increasing my goal for camp, but fortunately thought better of it. I was already failing miserably with interacting with cabin mates. On top of getting going with the Untitled Horror Project plan of action.
I was also failing miserably at posting to my blog about camp. Overall I made one “Motivational Monday” post and three “Word Count Wednesday” posts. While I did manage to share some of Vini’s Story (see chapters one and two), that was pretty much it. With everything going on in the personal life, the writing life got hit hard and I struggled. I was exhausted, my anxiety was up, and I failed in finding my ability to balance everything out. I couldn’t concentrate and due to all of the above, I gave myself the excuses not to continue those posts this time around. It doesn’t matter the excuses, they were still just that.
Looking back, I realize I had some similar issues back in April. In an effort to continuously grow as a writer, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes along the way. One mistake I seem to make often is applying way too much pressure to myself. I’m really not sure if this is due to my anxiety issues (or depression for that matter), but I really need to break myself of this terrible habit. I love writing. I love what I’m writing. I need to focus on that and not all the million little things around me.
After my experiences this month, I think the next time I participate in Camp NaNoWriMo I’m going to hole myself up in a private cabin. This is nobody’s fault, but my own. Honestly, I had intended to be so much more active in that cabin and I feel bad for taking up a spot that could have gone to someone so much more active than I. I also think I may reevaluate which posts I do or don’t worry about sharing on the blog in coming NaNoWriMo events.
Going into August, I know I just need to write. I need to focus on the writing and only one project for now. With the schedule of a late 2018 release, the Untitled Horror Project is all I need to concentrate on. I’m determined to find my balance in time and ease my anxieties. I need to focus on the fun of writing and the story I love. I also need to plan my time better. With that in mind, I may not have quite as many posts throughout the month of August. I’m not saying yes or no to this right now, but I know I need to take the pressure of posting to the blog off a bit while I finish up this draft of the Untitled Horror Project.
One thing I am very seriously considering for the future of this blog is creating a posting schedule. For example, I may only allow myself to post 3 to 4 days a week. They would be the same 3 to 4 days each week. I think it would allow me to have a more structured schedule. This is not something I am going to jump on right away though. I would still like to over analyze this for myself as a blogger a little bit longer, before attempting to put it into motion. I’m thinking however this may help me in creating a better quality blog. We shall see though. I do kind of like my spontaneous schedule on here too.
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