I feel like if I was a YouTuber this would end up being a ‘Get Ready With Me (GRWM) + Chit Chat’ type of video. I would be sitting at my desk with a mirror and makeup, putting on my face for the day as I discuss life happenings. At the moment however, I am not a YouTuber and thus you all get a blog post. Not of me doing my makeup or explaining my morning routine. Instead, we are going to skip all that fun stuff and jump to the ‘chit chat’ portion of the video – err, post.
August was a trying month at best for me. There were family matters (which some are still ongoing), then I ended up in the emergency room. Ugh. I woke up one morning in really intense pain in my lower back. After two hours of doing everything I could think of to alleviate the pain, I finally caved and called my doctor’s office. Talked to an on-call nurse and she was concerned there was a possible kidney stone due to where the pain was located and told me to head in. The ER doctor thought kidney at first as well, but thankfully my kidneys are just fine! Turns out it was a pulled muscle that went into spasm. They did however see something on my liver in a CT scan while I was in the ER, which after an ultrasound and an MRI later – it was determined my liver is fine.
On top of the medical end of my life, I have just been struggling really badly with my depression and anxiety. I feel like I was on this sort of spiral with it all that started towards the end of July that took me right into August. I felt myself starting to lift out of it recently though when something (that I really can’t go into details over) happened. It triggered a similar event that happened in my past and I’ve been kind of a mess lately over the past week. I am taking a proactive step in this matter though and seeking counseling. I have my first appointment very soon, to which I am choosing to be optimistic and hopeful in results from it.
I definitely am working hard on pulling myself completely out of the mental health spiral that I’ve been on. I know it may sound silly, but I’ve been watching a lot of Jaclyn Hill videos lately and that’s been helpful to me. It gives me that chance to step out of my headspace and focus of something else. Yes there are ‘AuthorTubers’ and ‘BookTubers’ that I watch as well, but a Jaclyn video is like free therapy for me; even if it’s just watching her do something like a Sephora haul or makeup tutorial. There’s just been something about her that I’ve adored since the first video I ever seen.
Another positive helpful thing has been making plans for my site and brand. I’m actually going around now and asking for quotes from a few different graphic designers. I have a certain vision in mind for my aesthetic and I definitely will need professional help. My own graphic making abilities are limited. Of course this means I will have to figure out how to raise the funds for it, and I’m not going to lie I’ve considered doing a crowdfunding venture to help raise those funds. As well as of course continue to promote my CafePress store – and hopefully my Etsy Shop soon enough. In the meantime I am doing my best to tweak little things around the site. Try and make it neater, more organized. I’m coming up with plans for the future – including a solid posting schedule that’s probably not going to start this month.
I’m also making slow, but sure headway in my writing. I plan to release the actual title of the Untitled Horror Project very soon, along with at least a few chapters of it. Writing has definitely remained a positive place for me. I’m also inspired with recent events to dabble more into poetry again as well, so don’t be surprised if you suddenly see a poem or two pop up on the blog. I’m also going to work on some short fiction to share on here as well.
Going back to the crowdfunding idea though for raising the money to help cover initial branding costs, I would obviously want to do like a rewards tier thing. Like donate X amount and get ___. I just don’t know what to fill those blanks with yet. So…I’m open to suggestions if you have an idea that would inspire you to donate to help a writer and blogger afford hiring a professional to help build their brand. Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments below!
For now I’m going to wrap up this little chit chat and get some more work done. Thank you to those who’ve hung around despite my lack of posts. I appreciate each of you so much. ❤
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