Making Personal Changes

I’ll be the first to admit that I used to approach personal development books with a roll of my eyes, before abruptly turning away. Somewhere along the way however I have found myself more intrigued by this area of literature. Over the past several months in fact I find myself looking more closely at the motivational books the world has to offer. I think for me it started when I read Candace Cameron Bure’s book Kind is the New Classy. I literally bought the book last year because it was an opportunity to meet the actress/author when she came through town on her book tour. I’ve adored her for literally years! When I actually read the book though, as cliché as this sounds, I felt a sort of spark ignite inside of me. It was like this moment of clarity where I was pushed to be really real with myself and admit I’m way too self-depreciating. Perhaps that’s a default from a lifetime of battling depression and anxiety. Either way, I felt that inspirational spark that I really needed to be more aware and mindful of how I was living and viewing life.
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GRWM + Chit Chat – GRWM

I feel like if I was a YouTuber this would end up being a ‘Get Ready With Me (GRWM) + Chit Chat’ type of video. I would be sitting at my desk with a mirror and makeup, putting on my face for the day as I discuss life happenings. At the moment however, I am not a YouTuber and thus you all get a blog post. Not of me doing my makeup or explaining my morning routine. Instead, we are going to skip all that fun stuff and jump to the ‘chit chat’ portion of the video – err, post.
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Today I Struggle

I woke up today and all I wanted to do was curl further beneath my blankets. The strongest desire to simply cry myself back to sleep felt overwhelming. I pushed the cover off me though and sat up on the side of the bed. I felt my shoulders slump and my mood already so low. I took a deep breath and got up from the bed quickly making my way across the hall into the bathroom. As my eyes lifted and I saw my reflection, I could see the tears welling into my eyes and the frown across my face increasing. Crap, they’re coming. I thought to myself as I tried to take a deep breath and hold it all in. I didn’t want the tears to come. I wanted to be my strong self. I wanted to be in control of myself and not let depression win today.
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